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 There was once a time when I was so afraid to talk in a large group that I turned bright red every time the teacher called on me. I had done just fine through college, but I made some mistakes in the final presentations of my senior year and I lost my confidence. I came to graduate school with all these high-powered scholars constantly one-upping each other and I no longer trusted anything that came out of my mouth. When I told my advisor that I wanted to teach, she said, “Thea, why don’t you think about that some more? I’m not sure it’s a good idea. If you’re the professor, you really do have to talk in class.” So I started looking at careers that didn’t involve so much public speaking, like curating. I went to work at an art museum, and I liked it all right. But when I went to church on Sundays and listened to the sermons, I kept having this feeling that something was missing. There was nothing wrong with my priest’s homilies. Something wasn’t being said because I wasn’t saying it. I knew something about the power of God’s healing in my life and I needed to tell other people about it. So I started preaching. It wasn’t easy. I got up in the pulpit and preached an entire sermon with my face deep red. And even when I decided to pursue ordination, I was still so nervous when I preached that I turned colors. One of the members of my field education parish nicknamed me “the blushing seminarian.” It was really hard, but it was thrilling. I had something to say and I could say it, even to a room full of people I hardly knew. Up here in the pulpit, I finally felt free. God can take us to amazing places. Now I stay the same color when I preach, but I would keep doing it even if I was still a blusher. God showed me how to love the search for truth. I am no longer afraid of saying the wrong thing because I don’t expect to deliver the whole truth by myself. A sermon is not a perfect prophetic utterance from the heart of God, but a small part of our congregation’s ongoing conversation with each other and with our Lord. I just want to say what I know, and then hear from you what you know. I trust that together we will find the truth of God. A Sampling of Sermons from Rev. Thea Keith-Lucas
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